Tags: witchy woman

Pucca

🖋📚😊I will be posting more stuff this weekend😊📚🖋(Sorry for the delay...)


👋Hey lil' peeps!👋
👍Anyone that stumbles into my brain's thought space. 🤝
Welcome to my humble brain thought abode, teehee. 😅🤔☺

I haven't posted an entry in a couple weeks. I will have an entry up by Sunday night November 8th, 2020 this weekend, at the latest. Probably sooner. Maybe even by tonight, Friday (the 6th, for anyone not wanting to figure the math out 😜🙃😅☺).

📜A few possibilities for posts are🖋:

¤ 📝 Spooky Story #2 and #3 ✏

¤📜 Using Rain Storms to Help Boost a Spell 🖋

¤ 📜 My Dark Half of the Year Stove Top Potpourri (as a spell or just as a yummy scent to fill your home) 🖋

¤ 📝 My Journey and Learning about Cognitive Psychology as an Experimental Science and Using Family and Friends to Conduct Experiments for the Course (It'sa free course for 5 weeks after signing up, more info in the post if I post about this) ✏

¤ 📝 How I feel About Current Politics and a Few Ideas to Help the 🇺🇸 Battle Misinformed Voters (My Political Leanings are Not to be Included) 🖊

¤ 📖 My Story About Addiction, Mental Health, Chronic Illness, and How I Chose to Fight Back (Getting Healthy With and Without the US Medical System) ⚖

¤ 📜 How Embracing the Title/Label Witch in My Beliefs Changed and Do I Still Have Fears and Worries Using the Title/Label 🖋


If you want me to write about one or 2 of these topics this weekend, let me know. If I don't get a response then perhaps I'll use my Pendulum or Tarot to decide (and write about that experience also 😊😉), if I have trouble choosing. The Universe, Spirit, God/Goddess might give me a nudge. I will probably write about all of these over time. I have so many ideas just tumbling around in this silly noggin of mine.

I hope someone reaches out so that I can help them through my writing, also, if there is something you want me to write about that isn't on my list, Please, reach out and if it's in my wheelhouse then I would love to post stuff that people want to read and learn about. Oh, and remember, check out my Instagram
📱Handle: @pucca.de.la.peepa
It should be linked on my L.J. profile, if not just type my handle in the search on I.G. and check me out.
I go by:
☆ The Witchy Wren ☆
Just in case, if you aren't sure you found the right I.G. profile.

📬 Let me know!
I would also like to thank those of you who take the time to read my stuff, comment, message, and follow me on here and Instagram. I have been so scared of putting myself out there and being a part of communities online, meeting people, and making new friends, that I had completely isolated myself (I have my husband & son, my brothers & sisters, and other family, and long distance friends I chat with a few times a year) but since I have been getting more social IRL and Online, when people interact in some fashion (being kind, not a-holes), it puts a smile on my face and warm fuzzies in my tummy/chest/heart. I love hearing from peeps and I will respond back.

Tell me about you! If you follow me on IG, comment on a post of mine and let me know you read my LJ  posts. I'll probably (99.9% will) put your kindness in my Stories to show my gratitude.

Okay, thats all. I'm blabbing now.
Stay Nifty, Stay Safe, Try to Show Compassion, and Have Faith in Yourself Because You are Unique, Amazing, and Literally ONE OF A KIND

💞🖖✌👋🙋‍♀️💫💗
👉💜 Always 💜👈

🥰🙃 April~Pucca~Wren 😉😊

Pucca

My Dark Half Wheel of the Year Potpourri


To start, here's a little background of why I started making the stove-top potpourri:

Growing up my mom would make our home smell like fall and winter by boiling this concoction on the stove. I remember the evenings, after she came home from work, after Ma made dinner, she would turn the flame on under the pot of potpourri and the whole house would smell like apple pie. Doing this during the dark half of the year made the house feel warm and cozy. My brothers would be in their rooms on their computers coding, gaming, watching Star Trek or The X-Files, I would be either doing the same thing or drawing, journaling, or homework. Ma would be in the kitchen or on the landline, smooth jazz or Stevie Nicks would be playing quietly from the massive stereo system (Ma's pride and joy after her kids) This system was top notch with the giant free standing speakers encased in wood and multiple stereo components and her record player all hooked up by my brothers.

Ma would turn the flame off on the stove, grab the steaming pot of simmering potpourri and walk around the house with it so that the wondrous scent would permeate the whole house. This memory is ingrained in my mind and makes me feel content like a kitty laying on a fluffy rug in front of a crackling fireplace.

Enough about the history of why this became a ritual in my home every year from the first Autumn rains to the end of Winter.

Before making: Make sure no one in your home has an allergy to any of the ingredients you are using, if they do you can substitute using other scents. Be sure to have an Epi Pen on had in case they are allergic to any of the substitutes and you didn't know. Or just don't risk it.
Also, be sure to let other household members that this is not for consumption

What I use:
》Apples
》Cinnamon and Cinnamon sticks
》Orange Peels or Orange Zest
(Everything else is optional, use whatever scents tickle your fancy)
》A few packets of Chai Tea, the contents of each poured into an empty spice jar. (You can also get each of the ingredients you find in Chai Tea, and pick which ones you prefer, rather than using tea bag contents)
       ~Chai Tea Contents~
               《▪︎Cardamom seeds whole or ground
               《▪︎Nutmeg
               《▪︎Cloves
               《▪︎Star Anise whole
               《▪︎Ginger
               《▪︎A few others used less often in Chai:
                  ~Fennel, Coriander, and Pepper
》Chamomile Flowers
》Frankincense Essential Oil (one drop)
》Bergamot Essential Oil (one drop)
》Rose Essential Oil (one drop)

I use a small, old sauce pan that holds about a pint, maybe a smidgen more.
I start with 1 cup of water or a liquid base like chai tea (no sugar or cream, just straight) or coconut water. I let that heat up while I prepare the rest.
I add in the spices, herbs, cinnamon sticks to the 1 cup of liquid in the pot as it simmers.
About a teaspoon or less of each.
2-4 cinnamon sticks or 2 teaspoons of cinnamon.
3-5 Star Anise pods or a teaspoon ground up.
1/2 a teaspoon of nutmeg and clove. Maybe less. I eyeball most of this and go by feel, smell, and look.
A teaspoon of Chamomile or 8-10 small flowers. You can add the lacey chamomile leaves also.
I use 1-2 apples, half of the apples I add are green, half are red or whatever is on hand (bruised or just not great), sliced and cored. Sometimes I use dried spiced apple slices I made within the past month, if I do, I still add some fresh apple slices for a robust scent.
I usually save my orange peels for a week in the fridge before I plan on starting my potpourri. You can add 1 large orange peel freshly peeled right then also.
If the mixture doesn't have enough liquid, I add more every time it looks too thick. Each batch can last a week, 2 if you refrigerate over night/ between uses. Do not refrigerate when the pot is still warm, let the pot cool to room temp or at least very close.
The Essential Oils I add later on, I let the concoction simmer for awhile before adding anymore scents.

I usually simmer the potpourri an hour a time 3-5 times a day.

The Witchy Part:

Before making, I cleanse all the tools I am using: pot, knife, spoons, ingredients and I charge them with my intent. I usually use a mix of smoke cleansing and running water.

I have used Moon Water, Rain Water, Blessed Water, as my liquid base that has been charged specifically for this recipe/creation/potion/spell
Make this creation so that it is tailored specifically to you and your needs.

What is the Intention:
《▪︎Protection
《▪︎Prosperity
《▪︎To Bring and Send Love into Your Home
《▪︎To Strengthen Your:
             ~Spirituality
             ~Intuition
             ~Practice, Beliefs, Witchcraft
             ~Et Cetera, whatever it is that YOU need.
《▪︎To Infuse your Home with Positive Vibes
《▪︎To Create an Atmosphere that is Welcoming, 
       Warm, Cozy, Loving

I think you get the point 😉
Basically, when making, stirring, preparing the potpourri, infuse each action with your intention. For example, when stirring ingredients in, say a little chant that expresses the energy and intention you want to infuse into the potpourri.

Here's a little spell chant off the top of my head to use as an example:
"With love this is made, may my love be spread, through this mixture's scent, from room to room it goes, my loving intent, through this home, spread and sent."

I don't have a step-by-step spell and recipe for you to follow. This is an outline type guide to inspire you to make it your own. If you are a new witch, do some research online, books, the library, talk to other witches that are skilled at teaching and explaining. My craft and practice is very intuitive and I mostly go with what feels right on top of my witchy knowledge of correspondences, spells, and witchy recipes.

Please, make your craft your own. It won't happen over night or by the next full moon. It has taken me many many years to find what works for me. I have been witchy since I was a child, around 13 I started looking into witchcraft, at 15 it became clear that I was a witch at heart but I felt like I had to hide it. I didn't fully start practicing rather than dabbling occasionally until I was 22. Before then it was during the times when I was alone in my room, or walking through the woods, or feeling an intense pull and inspiration that I would cast a spell or feel my witchy oats.

After I came out of the broom closet round 22, thats when I really started exploring my practice. I am almost 33 and have just started to find what feels right in the past 4 years. The year 2020 has been huge for me though when it comes to my practice. I have really started to embrace the fact that this is My Craft and My Practice I have stopped worrying about how others might view my practice or if I'm not as knowledgeable about certain things as some would assume.

All I want is for younger witches if all kinds to be able to embrace their craft as their own. To not worry about learning everything they can as fast as they can. I personally struggled more when I was trying to learn all of it within the first year. For some reason a bunch of info just wasn't sticking. When I finally accepted that I needed to go at MY pace is when my mind opened itself up. Now I learn when I feel inspired to learn a bit about a certain witchy subject rather than trying to force feed myself all the info I could. I had this misconception that in order to be an amazing witch I needed to know everything off the top of my head. Nope, I am not that witch. I have to consult my books, journals, online, other witches often, its when I let myself learn organically rather than mechanically is when the info is absorbed.

This way of learning as a witch has actually improved my practice 10 fold. It has helped me make my practice my own. I hope this helps other witches be okay with not being a super witch after the Year and a Day of learning. Make your witchy life flow with you and you with it. It might surprise you how much it can improve your practice when you let go of trying to force it. Forcing stuff can be good occasionally when you need an extra little push, it can become self sabotaging if it's happening consistently.

×☆×Good Luck and Blessed Be×☆×
♡ April~Pucca~Wren ♡

Pucca

The Story of How my Nickname Pooka or Pucca de la Peepa came about:








To start, the nickname was given to me from my husband 12 years ago when we started dating. I became his Pooka or Pucca de la Peepa. The Peepa part is my childhood nickname from my mom and dad. My dad still called me Peepa until the day he passed away in 2015. So my husband had started calling me his Pucca de la Peepa. "Pooka of the Peepa" like the Pooka side of the Peepa.

It had nothing to do with Faery folk or the cartoon Pucca (I found the cartoon 4 years after I was nicknamed, I love that cartoon). What's interesting to me is how I have been called a Gelfling, Faery, Elf, Elfing by all my friends for years upon years in my youth. It was about 5 years ago that I looked up Pucca or Pooka (my husband always uses the second spelling, I use both,) and saw the meaning behind it. I kind of forgot about that until yesterday when I saw a post with Pucca in it. It was just a meme about the Celtic Fae Pooka and their mischievous nature. I looked it up again and it reminded me of what my name means.

To me its what my husband ALWAYS calls me (Or he says Pook) and to me it's come to mean love, affection, and endearment. I guess it was just kismet that my most precious nickname is also the name of a Fae creature. After years of being called some kind of Fae nickname then to have my SoulMate nickname me Pooka/Pucca without knowing what it means is just more proof that I am on My Right Path.

Pucca

Spell to Break Curses, Hexes, or for Protection


Items that can be used for protection or to break boxes and curses. Only some items are in the following spells.

Mirrors
Small Box
Sage
Black Salt
Rosemary
Obsidian
A Black Mirror
Black or Red Fabric
Paper
Black or Red Pen
Your Hair
Aloe
Black Pepper
Basil
Bay Leaves
Agrimony
Birch
Cedar
Sandalwood
Frankincense
Blessed Water, New Moon Water

There are 2 ways to do this spell, it's up to you. You can do both if you want. If you do both, you will need at least 4 -6 small 4inch by 4inch mirrors, a hammer and a little wooden container (with a lid), preferably made of birch or cedar.

Before you begin, meditate, ground and center yourself. Make sure all tools you will be using are cleansed of residual energy. I use sage or incense smoke (Sandalwood, Cedar, Frankincense) or bring the waterproof items down to a creak and hold them in the flowing water while feeling cleansing energy flow into the items. I do this for as long as I feel necessary, 90 seconds to 13 mins.


Spell Version 1 and 2 (Both spells start out generally the same)
Mix Basil, Black Pepper, Birch saw dust together in a mortar and pestle while saying what you will be using the mixture for and charging with protection and hex breaking energy. Once the ingredients are fully mixed Place in a bottle with some Blessed Water or New Moon Water, Let sit for 3 days and nights during the New Moon, outside or in a window sill.

Once that potion is ready, grab the little mirror or mirrors and a black or red marker, wax pen, crayon, lipstick, etc. I prefer stuff I can wash off if I need to. Permanent marker works great and can be removed easily with nail polish remover.

Take the mirror or mirrors and make sure you have cleansed and charged them for protection before proceeding.

For Spell 1:
Sprinkle the potion you made over the mirror while saying something like:

"This potion blesses
Protects from curses and hexes.
On this mirror, made so pure,
I reflect back this negative attack
May it be reflected away from me.
All bad luck and energy being sent towards me
I send it all back, protection I do not lack.
Now I am free of all curses, hexes, and negativity sent to me.
So mote it be"

Write the name or names of those that have hurt you or wished you harm "Enemy Mine", "Negative Energy", "Bad Luck" etc. On the front of the mirror. For protection and not curse/hex breaking, you can leave it blank or draw, write something that represents protection for you.

Next place the mirror in a window that is recieving the most energy from outside sources (a window facing a road for example or a neighbors). You can make one of these for each direction of your home , N, E, S, W.

SPELL 2 using spell 1 steps first:
Once you complete all of the steps for spell 1 but without writing on the mirror, or putting them in windows, grab a hammer and paper or cloth bag (an old pillowcase will work.) You want to break the mirror up, if you have the tools you can cut it into the right sized pieces for putting in a cedar or birch box/container that has been cleansed and charged for protection and hex breaking. Once you have your broken or cut mirror pieces, glue them to the inside of the box. You can also add any leftover pieces, mirror side down to the outside of the box. If you do that, make sure the pieces face mirror side against the box.

Once the box is finished setting, take a bay leaf or paper and write the name of the hexer/cursor, if you are unsure then "enemy mine", "bad luck", whatever feels right. Now place the bay leaf/paper with writing on it in the mirror box. If you want to add an extra layer, say the incantation from earlier or something similar while sprinkling more of your blessed water of protection Potion over the box. If the hex or curse feels really bad you can wrap red or black ribbon around it 5 times in the shape of a pentagram or just around it as many times as you need, so it can't open, until it feels secure to you.

That's it. Store in a safe or top of a closet, under a floorboard, etc. I put my protection boxes near the cedar tree near my front door. Cedar and birch are great to use as an extra layer of protection if you need to bury or place something. Preferably one near your home.

Good luck!
Pucca

Spooky Story 1: The Ghostly Doppelganger

Story One: Doppleganger Nighttime Ghost

(Explanations and extra details will be at the end of the story with numbers that correspond to the numbers you see placed throughout the story)

Back in the early 2000's, around 2001, my dad decided to move us¹ to a huge, old victorian in town. The house was originally a mining cabin built around 1840. By 1890 when the town started becoming an actual town and not just a tiny mining camp, the cabin was expanded into a 2 story large victorian. The cabin was converted into the giant kitchen. The layout of the house was interesting.

When we moved there, I was given the master bedroom upstairs² and my little brother and sister shared the huge loft space across the landing. The parents had the 2 downstairs bedrooms that connected through a door.³ So here we are in this old victorian in town, moving in and getting settled.

You know that feeling that more is happening than our eyes can see? Yeah, that's the feeling I felt going up the stairs, in the upstairs area, and in the kitchen & walk-in pantry. Little did I know how much was happening in that house that was beyond sight for most people. A little background of what we moved away from: My dad and family had been living in a place near the lake of a gated community and 2 houses down the road would end up being my first long term "serious" boyfriend. It was amazing to live only a couple houses from one another and on a lake near a beach/parks & rec area. So when I moved 20 mins away and into town, our parents decided we could have sleepovers.

Boyfriend had to sleep downstairs on the pullout futon in the "waiting/parlor/drawing room".⁴ So the room boyfriend slept in had a regular doorway that opened to the entry hall & front door and the foot of the stairs and across was step-mom's bedroom door.⁵ On one of the nights that boyfriend stayed over something weird happened. I was upstairs asleep in my room, my door had a latch on the outside that my dad locked so that I couldn't sneak down and canoodle with boyfriend.

I woke up to whispering in my room of a young girl, I turn my lamp on, nothing there and no whispering. At one point my door handle is turned and jiggled as I'm laying there awake and struggling to fall asleep. I get up, go to my door and listen, it's completely silent, no movement away from my door or heading down the old creaking stairs. Then at about 3am give or take 30 mins I hear boyfriend talking to a girl, I hear the girl voice, it sounded like my voice, respond. I was really confused, so I laid down at the gap under my bedroom door and listened.
The part of the conversation I could make out:
BF from futon about 10 ft from hall doorway
"Hey, is everything okay, why do you keep going up and down the stairs and walking through the hall? What's with the old nightgown?"
Entity in hallway seen through doorway standing at foot of stairs
"I'm okay, just thirsty, do not worry my love"⁶ At this point I'm not sure if I heard right or if I'm tripping on something I ingested and didn't know. I hear boyfriend whisper a muffled and sleepy
"goodnight"
and then something in a weird raspy voice further up the stairs say it back. What freaked me out is the realization that I couldn't hear anyone actually moving on the steps. The old, really creaky steps, but the voice, when it said goodnight in that raspy whisper tone, it sounded like it was way closer to my bedroom door.

From the stair landing is what I figured. I knew there wasn't anyone in the house, alive, that lived there, that night, that was my age, and a similar voice to me. By the time I stopped freaking myself out from thinking about it, I looked at my clock and it was way past 4am and almost 5am. Next thing I know is that it is 7:30am and I am wide awake sitting against my bed on my floor. The freaky thing is that when I had looked at my stereo clock at 4:43am, I was in bed laying down, wide awake looking between my clock and bedroom door. And then my next conscious thought occurred with me sitting against my bed on the floor facing my bedroom door with my katana blade next to me unsheathed. To this day I have no clue what happened from 4:44am until 7:29am.

I get up and see that I'm in my comfy jeans and t-shirt. I have my beanie, which had a dried leaf and some grass on it, my converses, which had fresh grass stains, but no socks.⁷ This concerned me, especially the no socks part...
I was eager to get downstairs, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and wash my face before boyfriend woke up. I checked to see if my dad or step-mom came up to unlatch my door, it was unlatched.⁸
I had to pee soooo bad! I made my way down the stairs as quietly as I could, which is not easy on those old stairs and I was tiny at 4ft11 and barely 100lbs at 14 years old. I go do my thing not realizing BF is awake in the furthest living room from the front door, the tv room next to the kitchen, watching tv with my dad drinking coffee. When I'm done in the bathroom and all washed up, so fresh-so clean, I go and make my Red Rose Black Tea with cream and sugar and plop down on the loveseat next to my dad.

My dad asks how I got out of my room since he didn't hear the sound of me traversing my closet. I tell him that the latch was undone. He looks at BF and asks if he went up this morning and unlatched it. BF is terrified of my dad and won't lie, plus there is a security camera that records the front entry and you can see if anyone goes up or down the stairs, BF looks confused and says
"No, I haven't gone upstairs since yesterday when we were playing legos with** LB and LS⁹ in the area at the top of the stairs."¹⁰

My dad believes him and mentions that maybe it was step-mom but seems to be unsure. We all know that LB and LS aren't tall enough to reach the latch on my door and they wouldn't anyway.¹¹

So, anyway, when step-mom joins everyone and dad asks, she says
"No, 10 mins ago was the first time I've been upstairs since tucking the kids in last night"
Dad thinks outloud
"maybe I didn't latch it right, I swear I did though because I tried to open the door just to make sure the latch was secure, and it was... hmmmm, weird. I'll check the front entry cam. Maybe one of us unlatched it during the night to check on you and have forgotten"

BF pipes in with,
"You came down though, I think I saw you walk by the doorway down the hall to the bathroom in a weird long old looking nightgown a few times last night. I asked if you were okay, you looked really pale and sick and you said you were okay and you were just really thirsty. You sounded weird though. Are you messing with us?"

As BF was talking, all I can feel is cold. I had heard this exchange/coversation BF had, had last night, it was muffled and just barely discernible, but I know I heard it.
LS jokingly says
"It's the creepy girl ghost that looks like sister that walks around sometimes..."¹²
A moment later LS adds,
"There's also a tree chopping guy in dirty old clothes and a gross looking beard that likes to stand by your door."
She says it while staring at me without concern or fear but with a seriousness that makes me shiver.

"How do you know he's a tree chopping guy?" I ask.
"You will know when you see him that he's a tree chopping guy..." LS says while doing the PeePee dance and then runs off to the restroom before explaining further.

For a few more minutes we discuss this, I tell my parents that I didn't leave my room all night. They can check the security cam footage¹³ and see that BF and I stayed in our sleeping areas. Eventually, after breakfast my dad came in and said that neither of us were on the camera footage, he looked freaked though but we had to leave. It was time to drive BF down the hill 2 towns over so his dad could pick him up and bring him home. On the way back home my dad turned the radio off and asked if I "messed with the camera in the entry hall". I said "no" since I didn't. He looks at me and says he believes me and he can't believe he's going to say this but he has too...
"something came in our house last night that wasn't on any of the outside cameras, well it was but it was just a weird barely visible shadow that I thought was bug shadow on the lens. It wasn't a bug shadow, at least after watching it closely, it wouldn't make sense. It kept going up the stairs."

"On the camera that looks down at the parking spot under your bedroom window it stopped there and went up the side of the house. I couldn't see if it went to your window because of the angle but that's the only window upstairs right there. I don't mean to freak you out, I'm freaked out. Please be honest, is this an elaborate prank?"

I explain to my dad that there is no way I could pull this off. I was locked in my room and they would've been woken up by me if I had used the closet to get out. I also told him about how I had heard BF talking to someone that sounded like me and before that a girl whispering in my room near my door and then my door handle jiggling.

Eventually we chalked it up to new house heebie-jeebies and our minds and imaginations getting carried away.

This first experience happened less than a month after moving in. It was not the last and later that year while exploring the area under the house, we found some strange interesting stuff that only creeped our family out more.

Thanks for reading!

I apologize for any grammatical errors or typos. This was transcribed using my phone and a note app.
Explanations & Extra Details:
1. (step-mom, little sister and brother)
2. (no bathroom though, both bathrooms were downstairs)
3. (my dad was a loud snorer and liked to collect computer parts on shelves in his room, step-mom wasn't down with that clutter in their room so they had separate spaces, it worked for them)
4. (the house had 3 giant living rooms with giant wood sliding doors that could be closed to separate them or keep them open for a long open room/ floorplan style)
5. (Check my drawn diagram of the house's layout.)



6. (The way the house was laid out, my bedroom door was old and there was a 2 inch gap at the bottom. Also, it was literally right next to the stairs, I mean it lined up with the top step. The stairs were the kind that go up, then a landing that connects another set of stairs but in the opposite direction- turn 180° to go up the rest of the way. Directional Example: you start going up the stairs in an Eastern direction, hit the landing and turn until you are facing the Western direction and go up the rest of the stairs. The stairs had an open air feel to them, nothing closed off. This made sound travel very well up the stairs and under massive gap of my door.)
7. (I always wore cute printed low ankle socks with my coverses)
8. (Disclaimer, I could get out of my room through the weird 4.5ft tall, 4ft deep and 12ft long, old closet in my room that had a 2ft by 4ft opening into the coat/board game closet in the upstairs hall/stair landing. It was really noisy and I had a mattress/hidey hole/club house in there so it was not easy to get through quietly. Parents knew they could hear me if I tried to bypass the latched bedroom door to canoodle with BF when he stayed over)
9. **(I'm not including names, referred to as LB & LS for Little Brother and Little Sister and BF for BoyFriend)
10. (it was like a little nook type room 7ft by 7ft at the top of the stairs between their room, LB & LS, and my room, this is also where the boardgame closet is/was).
11. (They were really good about leaving their teenage sister alone since they had eachother and were almost exactly a year apart, their birthdays are 3 days apart. They didn't have any interest in their older siblings, I was closest in age to them out of all our siblings but still the age gap was too far apart.)
12. (LS is about 5-6 years old when this happened.)
13. (No, I could not alter or change it to sneak out)